Oh that's Right......HOPE....What HOPE?

My first suicide attempt was over a man
At Sweet Sixteen
A man I had waited four years for...
My Older brother's younger friend
Five years my senior
When I found out he'd had
Another girlfriend within a month
I nearly Shot myself with a double barrel
The Practise shot was enough to put me off....
That was my first real depressive incident
I think I went to bed for a week
My Sister and her girlfriend Kim
Tried desperately to coax me out of the bedroom.
After that I went Psychiatric Nursing
A Nurse called Bob Monk
Took me on a date
Apparently I went to a Sauna Parlour
And threw my engagement ring
Down the toilet
I don't remember anything of the night
I was only told this much later by my Sister
Who knows, I could have been gang raped....
That would explain my suddenly, very promiscuous, behaviour.
Who knows...perhaps Bob Monk would like to tell me
I found out that Bob already had a girlfriend
I got a Lecture from my first love's Uncle
That had been a Priest
And Sacked for being Bi-Polar
Even though I got an A in the theory
And the Practical was a doddle
I was told to become an Artist
My first love's Sister
Who was Head Nurse
At Kingseat
Warned me never to admit to a Mental Illness
When I rang her for help
She informed me that I might never get a job, etc, etc.
And this is all coming from the Head Nurse of the Institution
Already I knew I had virtually a life-time ahead of me of
"Fornicating with Spiders"
I went with my first love to a Sheep Station
And tried to commit Suicide with Pain Killers and Alcohol.
Hope was not my Best Friend!
Hope is a fairy tale that with kid Our Psychiatric Sufferers with...
Whilst we condescend with every platitude in the Book!