Still not on Medication

And even the old dears at the Op Shop think I seem SO MUCH BETTER. As long as you can reconcile that you'll have no work and that, at the blink of an eye, people will invariably be tempted, even your own family, and successful at trampling over your Human Rights. As long as you can reconcile that there is Still No HONEST PROTECTION for the Mentally Ill for that is still the reality WITHOUT getting ANGRY AND ACCEPT THAT LIFE IS NOT FAIR AND THAT JUSTICE DOES NOT EXIST for the Mentally ill then you may just be able to stay away from the Drugs and the Loony Bins Those ARE BITTER PILLS to swallow but that is just the way it is.

Dear John

You were FABULOUS at Gallipoli. Strange how after all those deaths we are now firm friends with the Turkish and it is still hard to understand why we led Our Young Men to slaughter in the first place? Who ordered the Manoeuvre? We should be Ashamed as much as Proud! Why do Women give birth to have their son's lives considered so cheap?

Apparently, after the Speech, which was GREAT, you put on casuals and turned it into a "Love Fest" so the Media says. Wished I was there!

It was Winston Churchill, the most brilliant orator ever, that my father hated and no wonder why.

Dear John

University is a way of life for a lot of unemployed people. Just give them Work with a decent minimum wage and many would be happy. Bring back more Apprenticeships, etc, etc.

Love the tie with the cows. Wish the farmers had more rain. I supposed to be Rain Dancing at the moment.

Why Do We Not Allow Euthanasia for Mental Patients?

If We had a Humane Society We Would Provide Prospects and opportunity of fulfilment for these people. Everywhere I look I see highly intelligent people lost to either no work at all or soul destroying menial labour when they would have so much more to offer if our Safety Nets offered HOPE!

How can the Bible be central to the Legal System when it does not, with vigilance, protect the Weak and the Meek?

After thirty years life experience as a Mental Health Consumer I say I should have the Right to say No More. If I went with my Psychiatric Nurse to the homes of "My Fellows" I'm pretty certain that I would be horrified by the abject suffering that I would witness. Most would be isolated, depressed, frightened, impoverished with No Hope in sight and no Answers.

We are going backwards instead of forwards and if we, as a Society, cannot offer the dignity of prospects and opportunity what Right do We have Not to offer Euthanasia? If we don't Acknowledge their Human Rights why don't We simply just put them out of their Misery?
I think that would be a Square Deal! PLEASE!

Mr Tommy Marmalade Tigger Bees Knees Ralph

I had a moment of pure Joy. My pussy cat, Mr Tommy Marmalade Tigger Bees Knees Ralph lay on me and purred with his tongue hanging out for about 5 minutes!

I'm really Grumpy

It may well be that I am experiencing Arapax withdrawal. I've never felt so ill in my entire life. It too will pass I hope!

Anyway, I've decided that I'm fed up with the way that Psychiatry and Psychology Di sect their Patients or Clients and especially Psychiatry. The tendency is to just pour medication into the Patient. It is CRUEL. If we to really offer people HOPE it would be in the form of WORK. I believe that we deserve opportunity and acknowledgement. No matter how well intentioned the intent, if people aren't given a decent chance to succeed and "Fit in" in some shape or form then it would still be kinder to line these people up against a Wall and Shoot them.

Make an example of me PLEASE!

Dear John

My favourite photo of you is of when you opened the books when you came into Power. You looked SO Angry that it made you seemed larger than life.

I've been Trying to put my Finger on it!

Since I moved schools, had an accident (two actually) and felt the full force of Hostility and Bullying at School when I was in the 6th form I've been trying to put my finger on WHY it all happens. It is FEAR I think. And in a basically "Christian" Society it seems such a complete contradiction that there is such a strong undercurrent of HATRED for those that we perceive as WEAK! In my opinion EVERY CHILD is a child of God and if our present "Safety Nets" offered the Dignity of ensuring that EVERYONE has the opportunity to fit in somehow somewhere we'd be heading towards Eutopia! Isn't that what Politics is supposed to achieve and isn't that what most of them stand up to be counted for? In that same year that I wrote the speech on Euthanasia I also knew that I would spend the rest of my life hiding away from HOSTILITY. I got a 75% average in 6 subjects in School Cert but, even so, even though I believe I had a lot to contribute I just wanted to hide. Apparently we're heading for the biggest shake up of the Welfare System yet but I still say that the recipe is simple- GIVE THEM WORK.... Work for the Unemployed. Work for the Drug Addicts and Work for Psychiatric Patients. If we can give jobs to those beautiful I.H.C. people I'm sure that we could be creative enough to find something to keep these people occupied and give them a sense of Dignity. And from what I've seen so many of these people are so resourceful, one way or another, that all they need is a place where they can feel safe and I'm sure that we would be amazed at what they can contribute. I believe that the only way that you can remove the HOSTILITY is by removing the FEAR! From being left waiting for God on the scrap heap I've stopped blaming myself and ask WHY? Give them a chance to work their way Up in a safe environment with a chance at pay rises, etc, etc, just like the REAL WORLD and develop a sense of PRIDE and I'm sure most of them would surprise by how easily they rise above their own predicaments or, at least, bounce back and contribute. Maybe I'm just harping on about a Fools Paradise but I believe that is the sort of Society that Jesus would have wanted. And I'm sure that most of these people, although not myself, would be able to move into mainstream employment with ease if you just give them back their confidence.

Regarding TEGRETOL

Actually I can not find the notes I wrote but I said there was no Inquiry. I'm sorry to have misinformed because actually there was one but it was so forgettable I almost forgot. The Hospital Inspector looked into it but I'm still not sure as to whether that was an Inquiry or simply a "Cover Up". And since he calls me "Dramatic" I call him "Glib, Patronizing and Uncaring". What I'd really like to know is if Mathew, his son, is any better? I think David did instigate the meeting I had with Dr Timney who took it all very seriously and told me that I was the unfortunate, one in a million, that suffered serious adverse effects. I wonder if there's a Genuine Lawyer clever enough to find out how often that story is being told. I would hazard a guess that one in ten, not one in a million, have serious side effects, and that is just an A.C.C. Loop Hole that means EVERYONE BUT THE PATIENT GETS OFF SCOT FREE!

Dear John

Happy Easter and may the Easter Bunny be KIND to YOU also.

I'm not fussed on Killing Whales but I can say I'd back Sir Geoffry Palmer, and his Decisions, all the way to Next Christmas, because, though my intellect is comparatively LIGHTWEIGHT, I can at least recognise a Genuine Man when I see one!

Actually, I like the Japanese and I admire their culture - that is everything BUT WHALING and after hearing about that Anti-Whaling Activist languishing under false pretense I'd have to repeat that if the Japanese think the Minky Whales are the Coakroaches of the Seas then they'd have to be the Coakroaches of the Planet. But I suppose that I don't have to walk a Political Tightrope on an International Plain. I think Garrett from Midnight Oil might be right that we are taking a backward step but really I don't have a clue either way.


P.S. Do you know what Bunnies do to one another when they are stressed?
Apparently they nibble one another's ears.

Onion Shell

I go around trying to keep up appearances, like some sort of Mrs Bucket, pretending that things are O.K. even though I'm now going blind and can't even read a book. But after peeling back some of the layers of the onion, when I'm alone, I just cry. And after three years at least of feeling no emotion at all it is ACTUALLY ENJOYABLE to CRY! I'm "LABILE" at the moment which is a sure sign that I'll be crawling through My Psychiatrists Doors BEGGING FOR MERCY at some stage. Peter is watching me like a hawk and waiting for me to CRACK and I keep my tears even from him but I'M FED UP AND I WANT MY DOCTORS TO MAKE UP FOR THEIR MISTAKES AND OFFER THE ONLY KIND ALTERNATIVE WHICH IS THE DIGNITY OF DEATH BY EUTHANASIA. PLEASE!

And I want there to be a System which gives HOPE and PROTECTS it's FUTURE CLIENTS. I say this especially to the LEGAL PAPER SHUFFLERS. You know the ones, the ones that feign a genuine interest, shuffle paper, go home and denigrate their clients and laugh about the Gravy Train. There are some BEAUTIFUL GENUINE LAWYERS OUT THERE, JUST AS THERE ARE DOCTORS, BUT I'VE READ ENOUGH IN THE LAW LIBRARIES TO KNOW THAT PSYCHIATRIC PATIENTS STILL HAVE NO RIGHTS! What RIGHTS they apparently do have still amounts to nothing but LIP SERVICE in my books!

TEGRETOL

I cannot PROVE that TEGRETOL gave me BREAST CANCER but I will put forward some CIRCUMSTANTIAL EVIDENCE. Firstly I'd like to say that it is probably safe for the majority of users, as they say, but the fact that my own Psychiatrist ignored the warning signs should have meant some sort of an inquiry. Of course it DIDN'T.

My first experience of TEGRETOL was when I had first left my husband and was trying to get myself stabilised as much as possible so that I would hopefully be balanced enough to maintain the responsibilities of motherhood. Dr Cliff put me on Tegretol. These anti epileptic drugs were considered a new way of treating Bi-Polar but to be effective one must be maintained at a THERAPEUTIC LEVEL. (That means quite a high amount for which one needs to have blood tests regularly because it can lower your immune dangerously)

Anyway, as I trusted my Doctors implicitly, I took it but I developed a lump in my left breast and called my Lawyer, Simon, about it. For that reason and others, when my husband took back my son from my mother, I concluded that it might be for the best because I was TERRIFIED of having to be maintained on these medicines anyway. Even though I was EMPHATICALLY ASSURED that TEGRETOL does not cause cancer.

Because of these assurances I gave Tegretol another go at a later stage and another lump appeared. Each of these lumps appeared within a short time period of taking the drug.
I'm a little hazy but I think it was the third round that did the MOST DAMAGE. This time it was the lovely Dr Timney that promised me that he would stabilise me out of Depression and wound the Tegretol up to the THERAPUTIC LEVEL. Within a couple of weeks I was home but I remember writing a letter to Dr Timney in the middle of the night saying that I was scratching like a Guerrilla and most worryingly couldn't ..................................... No response. Another one or two weeks later I went for my drug level test and got a phone call that I was to drop my Tegretol because it had dropped my white blood count below .4 which had thrown me into DANGER. On the lower dose my Immune had risen again, which was a relief, but what ASTOUNDED me at the time was that Dr Timney actually recommended then to take a higher dose than that which had caused my immune to drop in the first place. It was about the same time that I was almost screaming with pain in my left breast and hopping around my flat in agony. Dr Timney matter of factly told me that lowering my immune to DANGER LEVEL could cause cancer. THANKS. I dropped the drugs at that time in absolute frustration but I had also developed Tinnitus and by the way I could no longer balance my Bank Statements I have only CIRCUMSTANTIAL evidence that the Tegretol also caused BRAIN DAMAGE at the same time. I discovered later that it was when I wrote that letter about the fact that the Tegretol was causing the itching was when He SHOULD HAVE STOPPED IT because that is a basic WARNING SIGN. Much later when Eleni and I were going over my notes I discovered that letter had been removed from my file or perhaps was never even put in because I'd told him I couldn't...........................
Eleni urged me that it would probably be too stressful to make an A.C.C. claim and as we all know A.C.C. is a Gobble-De-Gook Nightmare that does anything BUT protect it's clients so I agreed with her. However, I did apply much later and was told by A.C.C. themselves that TEGRETOL does not cause cancer. Funny that because when the last lump appeared, a much larger one, and my lovely Psychiatrist Eleni got me in for treatment I was told by one of the Nurses in Radiology that the association between taking of TEGRETOL and people complaining that why they suspected they'd turned up the SEEMED TO BE A COMMON THEME!
At least in America the Drug Companies would have to give you a Princely Pay out. HERE you may as well give them the SPADE and let them BURY you ALIVE.